IWishINever

What was the trigger/s? (What was happening in your world at the time? Who were the people around you? fun, pain, peer pressure etc)

At the time of my drug use my mother had died aged 4, two weeks later my dad put us into a foster home and hell started, coming out of home I was 8,  he remarried only for that to last three years and I came home one day thought we were robbed as our stepmum packed up and left, from then my father wasn’t around and there was a tremendous amount of peer pressure from my sisters friends who were all smoking dope every morning.

What, if any, warning signs or prompts did you get and ignored when you started? What lead you to ignoring the warnings?

No warning signs for me unfortunately, as there was no parental guidance in the house

What have you lost as the result of your drug use?

Besides 14 years of my life from 11 to 25, I guess you just don’t know but as someone who is highly intelligent, athletically gifted and as a junior a promising footballer who knows what I could of accomplished

What have you learnt?

Drugs respect no one, demands everything, takes everything, destroys everything, you may think its only occasional whatever it is you are taking and that’s the subtle lie of drugs before you know it 10 years has gone by and you could have bought a house, your circle of friends has shrunk the friends you do have really aren’t your friends, wait until the cops come knocking or someone dies….drugs attract drug users and that’s it, everyone out for themselves.

Why don’t you go back?

As someone who has spent thousands of dollars in counselling  to understand the triggers of my drug taking all being emotionally dysfunctional and broken home related amongst other things, I’m married to an amazing wife 5 gorgeous children and most importantly I know who I am, when you search for your soul in a silver spoon you will never find an answer but a feeling.  If you actually took the time to recognise what you are actually seeking can only be found in who you are then that silver spoon will become irrelevant, all the hard work of attending a rehab, focusing on getting myself right, learning to dream and think what a future looked like the for the first time was terrifying, but far less terrifying than living with no hope and no dreams.

After 20 years now I could never go back, living on the streets, squatting, living in the lies, living in fear of being raided, seeing friends die from overdoses, people being murdered, families and communities been torn apart by psychotic, paranoia episodes.

Finish this sentence: I wish I never…

Ever see Drugs again as long as I live.

Signed C.R.

 

 

When did your drug use start?  (How old were you?)

I first began to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol at the age of 16 and I first smoked marijuana at age 18.

What was the trigger/s?(What was happening in your world at the time? Who were the people around you?)

I was pretty shy, had changed schools and had made only a few close friends. I guess I just wanted to fit in and began to follow the crowd. The daring side of this behaviour seemed like a bit of fun.

What, if any, warning signs or prompts did you get and ignored when you started? What lead you to ignoring the warnings?

I honestly can’t remember any particular warning signs. We had no school drug & alcohol education when I was young. I’m not blaming anyone for this, it just wasn’t considered necessary back then. I gradually slid down the slippery slope into the drug world and just lost touch with reality. The drug world had become my new reality.

What have you lost as the result of your drug use?

In 1982 I contracted Hepatitis B and suffered severe complications. My antibodies attacked my organs rather than the disease. I ended up in the Alfred hospital Coronary Care Unit with acute heart & kidney failure. I was given less than 2 hours to live. I was 25 years old. Miraculously I survived but spent almost five months in hospital. As a result of my drug use and related illness, I have been left with damage to both kidneys and from the age of 25 have required medication, which has its side effects. I have not touched an illicit drug since.

Against all medical expectation I was blessed with three amazing children, but not without some complications. One of my children has a mild disability, most likely due to me going into kidney failure 6 weeks early when I was carrying him.

My ex-husband also battled heroin addiction for many years after that time until I said “enough” and ended our marriage. Addiction is a horrendous soul and life destroying problem.

What have you learnt?

Drugs destroy lives!

But I have also learnt that there is hope, and life beyond drug addiction. One of the big lessons I have learnt from my journey is that young people need to have a dream/vision/goal in their lives in order to avoid heading down the path of drugs and alcohol. Having a plan for the future gives a person’s life purpose and hope. Without some sort of vision or goal it is so easy to just drift along and get swayed by the crowd. I had no dream. I went to school, got a job and partied.

Why don’t you go back to using drugs?

Although I was tempted many times to use drugs again, with others around me still using, I have had three main reasons for abstaining.

Firstly, being left with kidney damage caused me to really think about the possibility of death as a result of using drugs again. (It is amazing that even with people all around them dying from drug O.D.s, drug addicts rarely think it will happen to them.)

Secondly, my illness brought me back to reality and I soon began to recognise the destruction and devastation of drug and alcohol addiction across our society and across the world.

Thirdly, I now see that the people who most want people, young and old, to use drugs and drink alcohol are the drug lords and dealers of this world and the liquor industry. It is all about money to them. This causes me to feel outraged.

Finish this sentence: I wish I never…

I wish I never used illicit drugs of any kind. I have had a pretty tough life, as a direct consequence of the decisions I made as a teenager. Those decisions have affected the whole of my life.

Not only have I personally suffered, physically, emotionally and financially, but I have also seen so much of the destruction of both drug and alcohol addiction across our society.

I now speak in schools with a passionate drug & alcohol message in an attempt to warn as many youth as possible, of the dangers of heading down the path of drug & alcohol use.

Kerryn R

 

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More detoxification & rehabilitation that gets illicit drug users drug free.
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Less illicit drug users, drug pushers and drug related crimes.

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